


Fish Tale

by alvahana



Series: Hellavator 'verse [2]
Category: White Collar
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Fluff and Crack, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-26
Updated: 2013-12-26
Packaged: 2018-01-06 05:41:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1103071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alvahana/pseuds/alvahana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jones and Diana decide to take a page from Neal’s book when they are stuck in the elevator at the Bureau.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fish Tale

“Got any plans for tonight, Diana?”  
  
“Christie and I are going to try out a new Turkish restaurant downtown. You?”  
  
“Not really. After twenty hours of surveillance in the van, I’m just gonna grab a quick bite, head back home and sleep my head off.”  
  
“Yeah? I thought you liked the van, Jones.”  
  
“Oh I like it all right. I just don’t want it to become my permanent residence.”  
  
“Then you should—wait, why are we stopping at the tenth floor?”  
  
“…Please don’t choose now to break down.”  
  
“Looks like it just did.”  
  
“Oh, come on!”  
  
“Peter said he and Neal were trapped in one of these elevators as well last week—”  
  
“That doesn’t make me feel relieved at all.”  
  
“Let me finish: It didn't take long for the security guard to fix the problem and get the elevator moving again.”  
  
“I hope that’s our case…let’s call the security room through the intercom.”  
  
  
\------  
  
  
 _“...Hello? This is Anthony in the security room.”_  
  
“Hi, this is Agent Berrigan and Agent Jones from the White Collar division. I believe we’re stuck in an elevator on the tenth floor. Can you get it fixed?”  
  
 _“No worry, ma’am. I heard this happens quite often lately. It probably just needs a system reboot.”_  
  
“Great.”  
  
 _“So, if you could just wait until my supervisor gets back then he’ll—”_  
  
“Wait, you’re saying you can’t make the reboot right now?”  
  
 _“Oh, sorry, Agent Berrigan. I’m new here. This is actually my second day, so I don’t really know how to do that.”_  
  
“Then get someone who knows.”  
  
 _“No can do, ma’am. My supervisor just went out for dinner, won’t be back for another hour.”_  
  
“Well, then call him!”  
  
 _“Um...do you mind if you wait until he gets back? He won’t be happy if I cut his meal time short...”_  
  
“Actually, I do. And you know what, I'm not—”  
  
 _“.........”_  
  
“Jones, did he just hang up on me?”  
  
“Yes, he did.”  
  
“I can’t believe it. _He’s not_ gonna be happy when I get out of here.”  
  
“Which will be at least an hour later.”  
  
“No, I’m not letting this stupid elevator ruin my date with Christie.”  
  
“But I don’t think the guard will help us. Obviously he’s too busy worrying about his job.”  
  
“I have an idea. Remember that con Neal told us about a few days ago? The one he and Mozzie _allegedly_ pulled?”  
  
“Of course...Diana, are you suggesting we con the guard?”  
  
“I’m all ears if you have other strategies.”  
  
“Nope, no argument here. But I gotta to say, you’ve been spending too much time with Caffrey.”  
  
“Don’t let him know you said that. He’ll have that annoying smug face on for a whole day. So, you think we can pull that off?”  
  
“That’s easy. But it must look real, since the guard can see us through the camera. You ready to fake it?”  
  
“Woah, wait a second. _Me_? Why don’t _you_ do it?”  
  
“Well, you have to admit, a lady is much more convincing than a guy in this kind of situation.”  
  
“...Huh, you’ve got a point.”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“Fine. But you owe be a meal.”  
  
“Sure. Anything to get out of here.”   
  
“Let’s do this then.”  
  
  
\------  
  
  
“Anthony? You there?”  
  
 _“...Yes, Agent Jones. Is everything all right?”_  
  
“Um, I’m afraid not. Diana, the agent you just talked to, I think she maybe having some sort of panic attack.”  
  
 _“Wha—what happened?”_  
  
“Did you notice she sounded agitated just then? That’s because she doesn’t handle confined space very well. You know, she just went through a really terrible ordeal during her last undercover assignment...”  
  
 _“Oh no...”_  
  
“...And now she seems really upset and anxious.”  
  
 _“Eh...can you calm her down?”_  
  
“I’m trying! But man, you got to hurry up and get us out. She’s _really_ not doing well.”  
  
 _“But—”_  
  
“Jones...is it getting hot in here...?”  
  
“You hear that, Anthony? I don’t think she can stay here much longer.”  
  
 _“Okay, I’ll try to get hold of my supervisor—”_  
  
“Hey Di, listen to me, it’s gonna be fine. Help will be here soon.”  
  
“Jones...hard to...breathe..."  
  
“Damn, now she’s having trouble breathing! Get us out of here _right now_!”  
  
 _“Sir—”_  
  
“Just breathe with me slowly, Di? In...out...in...out...that’s it. Good, you’re doing good.”  
  
 _“...Um, should I call an ambulance and the fire department?”_  
  
“No, no ambulance! She hates hospitals. It’ll just make it worse. Just...get your supervisor and ask him to reboot the system asap, all right?”  
  
 _“Okay, okay! I’m getting him on the line right now. I’ll call back in a minute. Hang in there, guys!”_  
  
“......”  
  
“......”  
  
“He bought it.”  
  
“He did.”  
  
“You think we overdid it a little?”  
  
“Naaaah. I'm sure Neal will be very proud of us.”  
  
“By the way, nice acting, Jones. You totally outshone me!”  
  
“You’re telling me. I think I deserve an Oscar just for that.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted at my LJ: http://alvahana.livejournal.com/1796.html


End file.
